Thursday, March 27, 2008

Its exam time once again & I’m feeling blue! As usual! This is the final one & little different from others too! I’m feeling nervous & excited all at a same time. The reasons for excitement are less so let’s begin with the reasons for nervousness so that I can end with exciting reasons & feel anything but blue!

3rd year syllabus is equal to what we had done in these 2 years & more!

We did not have any serious exams in this year except silly 50 marks class tests! Will I be able to deliver the perfect answers during finals? It will be more like ‘Hate groom pate groom answers!’ On hearing this, many faces stretched muscles to manage hearty laughter but this is a very dark truth! No matter what, I used to get a confidence that I know the question patterns & the proper points which had to be written. But now I neither have any idea about the hammer, nor the nail! So how can I hit it perfectly?

There are soo many topics which keep me scratch my head! I detest the 1st & last papers which deal with theories & theorists! No scope for improvisation. Just nod your head with the old haggard fellows! They just make me go ‘urghhh’ But yes, there are criticisms where I can take out my angst & despair against them! But the problem is, when I need to give the main points, points of criticism come to my mind & vice versa. This is good though but creates a lot of confusion for me. The other 2 papers deal with Indian social problems & institutions. These sound very interesting! Especially topics like ‘child abuse, violence against women, divorce, youth, old age etc.’ but…ki jatona bishe, bujhibe she kishe, kobhu ashibishe dongsheni jare…But here I can bhatify unlike the theory papers!

I always belong to terminal groups! I’m either the 1st or the last batch of a particular education system…Right from school days to the end of college life. In University of Calcutta, we were the 1st batch to sit for 3 University exams which previously was 2. In 2nd year, little alteration was done to it. Right was Professor Dr. Partha Mukherjee “The University takes a wrong decision, realizes it after 3 years & again takes a wrong decision!” My batch is the last batch under University of Calcutta as St. Xavier’s College has been certified to be an autonomous institution.

Till then, we have been treated as step children by everyone. The professors want all of us to pass out by hook or crook. Attendance shortage, not appearing for crucial examinations, nothing is a hindrance anymore now! This is a boon for the rebels but what about good girls like me? I was really upset! Muri michhrir ek dor? :x Moreover, nobody is worried or interested about part 3 exams. Everyone is just bothered about semesters. We had to take so much toil to find out the time table in the notice board which is filled with semester notices!

Then the very thought of writing examination under CU! You can only understand my reason by the following example. One of my classmates appeared for CAT. When the results were out, we asked her about it. She said that she didn’t even chek her percentile as she gave hopeless performance! We cheered her up by saying that she should check it out as one never knows…She replied “Yaar, ye CAT hai, Calcutta University nahi k ulta marks ayega!” I hope you can understand…

Then the exam starts from 18th of April & look at the previous day! It’s my parents’ silver jubilee marriage anniversary. I had so many plan with it but phew! Angana’s sister is getting married on 17th. Her situation is more pathetic! Pallabi’s brither is leaving for Germany on 17th night! I really feel like shrieking aloud ‘WHY US???

Since this is my college final exam, I have to get admitted in another institute for higher studies. After Part 3, after a little bit of chillaxation I have to prepare for those admission tests. If by God’s grace, I get selected I have to face interviews & GDs. The very thought gives me shudders! Then there is tension whether I’ll get through mass comm. Institutes or gave to grill myself in doing MA in sociology!

Tension, worry, anxiety, nervousness, apprehension all are coming & giving me warm tight hugs! I feel sympathetic at myself! I have come up with this brilliant philosophy: ‘Chaap niye labh nei!’ as it wont change my present situation! I don’t know if my regular routine of study is adequate or not. But I’m trying hard to meet the ends! God help me! I feel sleepy 24*7! When I finally call it a day & retire, I’m wide awake! How ridiculous! I feel that everyone else is so happy as they don't have to drown in notes! I wish I were a dog, a bird, a bee...anything! I know, the day I’ll finish all my exams, I’ll be brimming with energy! This is life! Truly!

Well, I have reasons to get excited too…

It’ll take just 4 days & a week to do away with Part 3.

Finally I’ll be a graduate!

I have only honours papers & pass papers or stupid subjects are gone with Part 2.

I’ll have a new life after this, in a new institute, new curriculum & probably a new city.

Uh-oh…look at the ratio of reasons for nervousness & excitement & these will happen way after the immediate future. So…Feeling blue…All the best guys!

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