Its exam time once again & I’m feeling blue! As usual! This is the final one & little different from others too! I’m feeling nervous & excited all at a same time. The reasons for excitement are less so let’s begin with the reasons for nervousness so that I can end with exciting reasons & feel anything but blue!

3rd year syllabus is equal to what we had done in these 2 years & more!

We did not have any serious exams in this year except silly 50 marks class tests! Will I be able to deliver the perfect answers during finals? It will be more like ‘Hate groom pate groom answers!’ On hearing this, many faces stretched muscles to manage hearty laughter but this is a very dark truth! No matter what, I used to get a confidence that I know the question patterns & the proper points which had to be written. But now I neither have any idea about the hammer, nor the nail! So how can I hit it perfectly?

There are soo many topics which keep me scratch my head! I detest the 1st & last papers which deal with theories & theorists! No scope for improvisation. Just nod your head with the old haggard fellows! They just make me go ‘urghhh’ But yes, there are criticisms where I can take out my angst & despair against them! But the problem is, when I need to give the main points, points of criticism come to my mind & vice versa. This is good though but creates a lot of confusion for me. The other 2 papers deal with Indian social problems & institutions. These sound very interesting! Especially topics like ‘child abuse, violence against women, divorce, youth, old age etc.’ but…ki jatona bishe, bujhibe she kishe, kobhu ashibishe dongsheni jare…But here I can bhatify unlike the theory papers!

I always belong to terminal groups! I’m either the 1st or the last batch of a particular education system…Right from school days to the end of college life. In University of Calcutta, we were the 1st batch to sit for 3 University exams which previously was 2. In 2nd year, little alteration was done to it. Right was Professor Dr. Partha Mukherjee “The University takes a wrong decision, realizes it after 3 years & again takes a wrong decision!” My batch is the last batch under University of Calcutta as St. Xavier’s College has been certified to be an autonomous institution.

Till then, we have been treated as step children by everyone. The professors want all of us to pass out by hook or crook. Attendance shortage, not appearing for crucial examinations, nothing is a hindrance anymore now! This is a boon for the rebels but what about good girls like me? I was really upset! Muri michhrir ek dor? :x Moreover, nobody is worried or interested about part 3 exams. Everyone is just bothered about semesters. We had to take so much toil to find out the time table in the notice board which is filled with semester notices!

Then the very thought of writing examination under CU! You can only understand my reason by the following example. One of my classmates appeared for CAT. When the results were out, we asked her about it. She said that she didn’t even chek her percentile as she gave hopeless performance! We cheered her up by saying that she should check it out as one never knows…She replied “Yaar, ye CAT hai, Calcutta University nahi k ulta marks ayega!” I hope you can understand…

Then the exam starts from 18th of April & look at the previous day! It’s my parents’ silver jubilee marriage anniversary. I had so many plan with it but phew! Angana’s sister is getting married on 17th. Her situation is more pathetic! Pallabi’s brither is leaving for Germany on 17th night! I really feel like shrieking aloud ‘WHY US???’

Since this is my college final exam, I have to get admitted in another institute for higher studies. After Part 3, after a little bit of chillaxation I have to prepare for those admission tests. If by God’s grace, I get selected I have to face interviews & GDs. The very thought gives me shudders! Then there is tension whether I’ll get through mass comm. Institutes or gave to grill myself in doing MA in sociology!

Tension, worry, anxiety, nervousness, apprehension all are coming & giving me warm tight hugs! I feel sympathetic at myself! I have come up with this brilliant philosophy: ‘Chaap niye labh nei!’ as it wont change my present situation! I don’t know if my regular routine of study is adequate or not. But I’m trying hard to meet the ends! God help me! I feel sleepy 24*7! When I finally call it a day & retire, I’m wide awake! How ridiculous! I feel that everyone else is so happy as they don't have to drown in notes! I wish I were a dog, a bird, a bee...anything! I know, the day I’ll finish all my exams, I’ll be brimming with energy! This is life! Truly!

Well, I have reasons to get excited too…

It’ll take just 4 days & a week to do away with Part 3.

Finally I’ll be a graduate!

I have only honours papers & pass papers or stupid subjects are gone with Part 2.

I’ll have a new life after this, in a new institute, new curriculum & probably a new city.

Uh-oh…look at the ratio of reasons for nervousness & excitement & these will happen way after the immediate future. So…Feeling blue…All the best guys!

I just watched Jodhaa Akbar. It received various lukewarm reactions from the audience till the day it had released. It can be classified into two.
1. Too lengthy, very boring, overboard, chatu etc. etc.
2. Good film, ignoring the fact that it’s too long. It’ll give you aesthetic satisfaction.

After watching it, I support those having the 2nd opinion. I agree that it’s too long but 3 ½ hrs was worth spending for this film. I felt sleepy & my leg started aching but that was because I was really tired that day! But it’s very beautiful. It contained the good, the bad & the ugly characters (every film contains them except Karan Johar films where each & every characters are like tulsi leaves washed in Ganges water!) It’s lavish! The sets, the costumes, the jewelries, war & love sequences, food, animals…the whole film in fact! Hrithik & Aishwarya’s ethereal beauty enchanted me! They are fabulous actors! I love Hrithik anyway but my heart doesn’t have enough space for Mrs. Aishwarya Rai Bachhan. I liked her in very few movies & Jodhaa Akbar is one of them. Her best scene in the movie, according to me is when Jodhaa Bai learns about her husband, the Badshah of Hindustan Jalaluddin Mohammad Akbar’s illiteracy. What expression! The music is nice. Very contextual, melodious, full of soul & very royal. Jashn-E-Bahara & In lamho ki daman me are my favourites but songs like Khwaja mere khwaja & Marhabba didn’t impress me much before but after taking into consideration the situation, I liked them too! Manmohana is another wonderful song in the movie! But the background score is awesome. I could recognize elements of Bahar in it. The language used in the film is another character of the film. The urdu was understandable except few words of which we found out the meanings ourselves. I’ve decided, whenever I would like to talk with someone in private, I would utter the word Ekant! It showed very well how Diwan e Aam was used for administrative & political purposes & Diwan e Khaas for aesthetic discussions with few selected people. The way Akbar asked Bairam Khan & the Maulavi to retire was really amusing! It was nice to watch Sonu Sood as Sujamal. It had been a long time since he was seen in silver screen after Ashiq Banaya Aapne that too in a meaty role. Last but not the least; Big B’s narration is an added treasure.

Now, let’s view the film from a different angle. After watching the film, I think, instead of Jodhaa Akbar, it should have been christened Joddha Akbar (warrior Akbar). The film started with war, ended with war. In the middle of the film, Akbar & others decided about warfare, annexation, strategy, little bit of religious practices. The scarce time he was left with, he spend with his wife Jodhaa. In fact the matrimonial alliance was a part of annexation of Rajput Empire. But yes, it was successful to show how much fond hubby Akbar was for wife Jodhaa in certain scenes. The narrator raised the question that why Jodhaa Bai & Akbar’s love story isn’t so famous? How can it be? It’s just another story of arranged marriage metamorphosing into a passionate love story. Jodhaa Bai was clear with her concept of marriage; ‘Saat janmo ka bandhan’ which she couldn’t do away with. So love Akbar or hate Akbar, she hardly had any choice. If you stay with a person for 24*7, it’s quite normal that slight affection will grow for that person in your heart. Same happened with Jodhaa Bai. Moreover, Akbar took care of the whole country & became the favourite ruler. In the process he won her heart which was the condition for having Jodhaa’s love! It was more like watching Akbarnama than Jodhaa Bai & Akbar’s love story. I’m sure, if Sanjay Leela Bhanshali, Karan Johar or Yash Chopra dealt with the subject, the film wouldn’t have anything else but Jodhaa & Akbar romancing everywhere, in bedroom, in court, in terrace, in temples & mosques, in kitchen, inside the utensils (man, they were so big!) & who knows, even in the Warfield! There would even be a rain song & dance sequence. I hope it showed how Din I Ilahi came up, his Navaratna - little bit of humour from Birbal & some more music from Tansen. Hope they knew some more expressions for appreciation except Subhanllah! The questions which will always remain unanswered are, howcome the young Akbar (played by the boy who played the role of Aishwarya’s son in Kuchh na Kaho) had black eyes & the grown up Akbar was cat eyed! Same with young (popular child model) & grown up Jodhaa, the difference is between black & dark brown eyes. Were contact lenses so popular in those days?? Par koi baat nahi, bade bade filmo me aisi chhoti chhoti galtiya ho jati hai! What was the need of showing the eunuch as one of Jodhaa Bai’s personal attendants? Did someone like this really exist? Where did Dai Maa disappear after the truth regarding her wicked plan was unveiled? Did she meet the same fate as her son Adam? What was the source of so much dazzling illumination before the song in lamho ki daman? Aishwarya was perfect for Jodhaa’s role but what about Hrithik? He would have fitted perfectly for Alexander the Great’s role. As it is he has a Greek God kinda physique & look. But the picture of Akbar which we are used to is short & fat. Govinda would have been the ideal actor to play Akbar. Even Shah Rukh Khan, if he had put on some weight. But let it be for the sake of the mass!

After the scrutiny, all I can say is, love the film or hate the film, you can’t ignore the film. According to the box office reports, it’s a hit! Inshallah!

Mang liya zindagi se zyada

Chhin gaya wo jisne kiya wada

Did I really want more from life? Why does it always happen that I don't get what I want & get what I don't want? Not always though but...why??? Why do I always keep losing people who promised to be with me? I'll find it out! I'm just waiting for it to happen for the 3rd time. They say, if you feel others are wrong & you are right, let that be. If that happens twice, then this world is rude but same thing happening thrice, it's all your fault! I'm waiting for it...Hope that 3rd time never comes...

On a happy note! It's not the last day of my life right? I still have many more days & years to live. How do I know what's in store for me in the box of chocolates? :-)