The Rain

Connecting the dots...

2010-12-28T06:52:00.000-08:00

Its been over a year I have blogged. A lot has changed over the time. This post is to connect the dot, establish the missing link! Shall I say, I have spread my wings? Or the butterfly has come out of the cocoon? Whatever I may call it. I don't know whether my life has changed for good or for bad, but it has changed a lot. Till the time I was in IIMC hostel, it was the best time I had. At moments it was better than the time I spent at home or college. I consider 2009 as the worse year of my life so far. But there were something good too! I got financially independent. This year, the year went as it is, without causing much ripple, but a serene breeze touching over the surface. I have become much more independent, responsible & free in decision making. Now I am sure, there is nothing which I can't do. I have become more self confident & am proud of myself!

A Different Way of Enjoying Puja

2008-10-08T03:34:00.000-07:00

This Puja has been the most different ever. By this time I don’t think you need to be told why it has been so! Take for instance the Mahalaya. Back at home, I never woke up at 4 to listen Birendrakrishna Bhadra. Maa used to put the radio on, later on the TV too. I used to open my eyes only once & again fall asleep. This year, Sucharita got the Mahishashurmardini CD, all the Bengali girls planned to get up by 4 in the morning, go to the terrace & play it loud in the laptop. With time, various alterations came to the plan. 4 AM became 5, location shifted from terrace to Sucharita’s room & the number of girls lessened from 7 to 4 & I’m feeling very proud to write that I was among the 4 bengali girls who didn’t back out at the last moment! B-) was fun as we were listening to Mahishashurmardini, chatting, having ‘Sholo Ana’ chanachur & badam till 6.30 & again going off to sleep till 8.30. The common point which revolved around the discussions of mahalaya morning was, we’ve become closer to our culture & tradition. We never bothered to wake up & listen to it religiously which we actually did. But the anti climax was…we had class for the whole day. :-(
Then came Puja. More than half of the Bengalis went back home, to Kolkata. I tried to enjoy as much as possible. Morning was same as any other Sunday morning. Lyadh khawa, carried on by cleaning up my room, washing etc. etc. In the afternoon, I put on my new purple top from Sarojini, did a little make up & along with Neha, Bahni & Jaya went first to the beauty parlour near Taapti. Got a complete make over which was followed by evening snacks of pakodas, tea & goja. After that we went out for our venture to find out the puja pandal in JNU. We found it, located near the Godavari hostel. Simple décor & idols but the only thing that felt strange was that the idol faces were still covered with clothes! Generally the faces are revealed in the Shoshthi morning only! Anyway, after coming back, I was bestowed with complements from various people! It felt nice! Saptami was class as usual. In the afternoon, I set off for Baby Mashi, my local guardian’s place in Kalkaji, very close to Chittaranjan Park. I reached there by 6.30. We went to see the pandals in C R Park, Nabapally & C R Park Cooperative Puja. Heard Shraboni Sen to sing & was elated to find out that Siddhartha Da was on the tabla. I miss my Sunday morning music classes! :-( Had ice gola chuski & good Bengali barir khabar! I gave Ashtami morning Anjali in the closest Nabapally pandal after which we went to Kalibari. With the Bengali crowd, perfect Durga Protima, Bengali music, and Bengali hoardings, it felt as if I’m in Kolkata only! It felt different, it felt nice and it felt sad. Ashtami night spent in C R Park Kalibari puja, listening to Shubhankar Bhaskar & Rezwana Choudhuri was a real treat for ears! I’vent been that lucky in Kolkata. I took an off on Ashtami & today’s Nabami, I’m attending classes. No plans yet.
Another difference this year is that, instead of going to puja pandals in the morning after getting dressed & decked up, I’m going to class room. What a tragedy! :-( Only good this is that, our classes are getting over at 2.30, after which we are free. Faisal Sir gave us Sewaiya treat! I don’t know how things will turn out to be in the next year, but this year, it was like this. Don’t feel that sad, it wasn’t that bad! I’ve enjoyed Puja much better than many others. I sign out with the hopeful note…Aschhe bochhor abar hobe! Shubho Bijoya in advance folks! :-)

Life In Another Metro...

2008-09-11T05:08:00.000-07:00

It's been such a long time since I blogged! I've been away from home for more than a month now. I never knew I would b able to manage myself so well! It's not that I don't miss my home or friends! I do, I do that like hell! But somehow I'm surviving. I'm doing that quite well. I've become more responsible & self dependent! I wanted to right so many things, but nothing concrete is coming to my mind right now.

O ya, hostel life is great fun! I do wake up till late night, chill & let others go nuts! I've been my nutty best! I remember one saturday night, we partied till 5 AM on the terrace! I won't say what I did. Ok, I danced & sang & did something which I don't know how to put into words! But ya, after that night, people's verdict was, me and Anwesha (my partner in crime ans she actually spells her name as Anaysha, but I would rather stick to Anwesha!) should replace the TV in the lounge...Another very sweet compliment which I got was, "You always bring smile to people around you. Please, keep on doing that!" :-) I can remember another rainy night. It rained cats & dogs! By now you must have known how much I love rain! People who loves rain like me, went to the terrace, got drenched, shivered, sang loudly & came down after the warden called up to ask what made these halla! :P Nights r really cool!

Love thy neighbour has been absolutely true & suitable for me! My neighbours & friends, Debarati, Neha, Megha...make my nights cool! They play pranks & so do I! The most common being knocking the door & fleeing!

Till date in Delhi I've visited India Gate, Qutab Minar, Lotus Temple, Priya, PVR Saket and JNU campus, PSR (Partha Sarathi Rock)...need not mention about Ber Sarai, Munirka & Katwaria Sarai....My first film seen in Delhi is Rock On! After much longing I watched it & loved it! I love the music more than the film which I have in my ipod now! :D I love walking in the meadows & the jungles inside the JNU campus!

I don't want to write about hostel food! :( I look forward for wednesdays & thrusdays...We get chicken & diiiiim!!! :D Other 5 days its all about surviving ghas phus! :-(

IIMC has so many dogs! Its like a dream! Most of them are orangish brown. We (me Sohini & Samridhi aka Sam) have named them Maupassant, Romeo, Buri nazar wala as it has a blck face (remember the phrase, buri nazar wala tera muh kala!) but later on came to know that its name is Chocolate! There is a cute white puppy whose name is Shahid Kapoor (named by RTV ppl) and I have named 3 little brow puppies Google, Yahoo & Hi5! And there is another full black dog, her name is Mahi! The only thing I don't like in them is that their lack for self respect! Why do they love so unconditionally??? I hate cats & they roam inside the hostel freely & fearlessly & don't feel a bit ashamed of shitting infront of our rooms or corridors! x-( I hate them like anything! Oh, I forgot to mention about the pea cocks! They are found in vogue. Insects are oversized! Nilgais are also available! What more do you want?

What more? I've grown relationships here! Now I have a daughter & a grand daughter! :D

Another most remarkable thing is that the number of bengalis in IIMC. Even if I can't be a journo by the end of 9 months, the non bengali people will surely learn bengali!!!

And how can I forget writing about what I came here for! Classes...nothing special! Don't know why they keep on repeating the same things! Assignments make me dog tired! :( This lab journal is sooo weired! News reviews are soo boring! Class seminars r soo tiring & nothin comes for free. Report everything! But I do like the Ad & PR classes! I can watch my favourite ads & know the story & concept behind them! I like the radio programmes but don't like editing them! I like the movie shows but don't like reviewing them! But...whatever it be, I had always wanted this life & I'm here today. No regrets, no offence, life is rocking on!!! \m/

2008-05-22T08:43:00.000-07:00

This is the second time I enjoyed my right to vote. Since childhood I fancied the election procedure. The very powerful feel that the future of the Government depends upon me is really nice! As soon as I turned 18, I ensured that I’m eligible to vote. The day I received my Voter Identity Card, I felt ecstatic though I felt absolutely opposite when I glanced at my photograph! Last time, during the Lok Sabha elections, it went smoothly. This year I voted in the Panchayat elections.

The night before the vote was terrible. We had a power cut at 1.45 am. It wasn’t that big deal as I thought that there will be generator & we’ll get the fans. But to my horror I found out that it was only our flat that had the power cut whereas the whole locality had it. I knew it; I have to be wide awake as I can’t sleep without fan. To add to my woes, there were mosquitoes all over. Biting, flapping wings inside my ear which irritated me big time! To escape that situation, I took refuge to music. Put my earplugs & surfed FM stations till 5! Can’t believe that I could see the sunrise! The morning breeze made me feel better. I continued reading The God Of Small Things. At 6 I got up & by 7 I reached the polling booth. Already there was a long queue. Many of the voters didn’t bring their Voter Identity Card! How funny! There was cloth shade to avoid the sun. It was not even 7 in the morning & the sun blazed! There were 3 different queues on the basis of certain classifications. Suddenly, a woman arrived, aged, red haired, dressed in salwar kameez & sneakers, and started conversation with another woman in the line. Her intention was to sneak in the line but the moment she tried to get inside, a man protested saying that she is just not supposed to get in between the line just like that! She, in her defence said that she had asked her to keep space for her. This infuriated the man even more. He was absolutely right as he said that had this been the process, everyone would have booked their position from the night before. She stood at the end of the line without uttering a word as everyone had favoured the man. But that lady was big mouthed. Or maybe she felt insulted & wanted to gain sympathy towards her. Or maybe she has this habit of drawing public attention towards her. She started howling that why isn’t the line moving forward? Why is it taking so much time? This is not systematic at all! She was in a hurry so things must be done as quickly as possible. Then one of the candidates came to her & as if she was seeking forgiveness, said that it is moving slow as one has to vote thrice. Electronic voting system was not available as the number of voters & polling booths were huge in number so the manual voting system had to be followed. Then the raged & wretched red haired lady started shouting even more & said that these are all lame excuses! She didn’t have any compulsion of voting & behaved in such a way as if she was obliging everyone by doing so! My my! This was just so stupid of her! I couldn’t imagine how irrational she could be! I just lost it on her. My condition was worse of them all I guess as I missed my good night sleep! There were lots of other people who were aged, sick but still they wanted to vote. If they could make it why not she? I felt like giving it on her face but my mother stopped me.

Firstly, what system was she talking about? The system of making queues & waiting for one’s turn is the most civilized format. Can she howl about system, time scarcity & stuff during buying a movie ticket from high profile multiplexes or restaurants during peak season & time? One always has a choice to go for something & otherwise. Just because it is a village Panchayat elections, the people around are not from high standard back grounds she bashed them. She could just make her way out as voting is a right & not a duty as directed by the Constitution of India. But then, I feel, if someone doesn’t vote, he/she loses the right to criticize the government. Either you select your rulers or just accept whatever is offered to you without being fussy. She talked of running out of time. The booth is open till 5 pm. She could easily come later, during her leisure time. She kept on howling as an insane but I think this one was the best. She said to her friend that won’t they offer us tea? I couldn’t stop but remarked “Keno mashima? Apni ki patri dekhte eshechhen?” (Why Aunty? Have you come to meet the prospective bride for your son that you are expecting tea?) People around me started laughing & I think that was audible to her also! She decided to leave. But some of the polling agents requested her to come back. She was given direct entry inside the room. This really pissed me off! Why? Just because one vote is expensive they supported someone who is as blockhead as…!?! Whatever!

When my turn came to go inside the room, there was a strict security check which had to be undergone. I showed my voter identity card. The polling agent glanced at my card, then he glanced at me. I think he doubted whether the girl in the photograph is really me! :P My God this is my worst picture ever taken! There were 3 agents sitting at 3 different tables, all laid in a horizontal manner. The 1^st agent took my thumb impression at the voting slip. There were 2 reasons for this. Firstly, time was scarce. Secondly, signature can be forged, not thumb impression. The 1^st voting slip was for the Gram (village) Panchayat election. The slip was pink in colour. I was diected towards the voting counter, covered with a piece of cloth. Before that, another agent put a blue black dot on my left index finger. Then gave me the stamp with which I’m supposed to vote. I went inside, there was a dimlt lit lantern, (don’t know what it was for! :O) put the stamp mark on my chosen symbol, folded the paper, came back & put it inside the ballot box. The same thing happened for the Panchayat Samiti & Zila Parishad elections. The colours of the slips were white & sea green respectively. After this, I was shown the exit door & asked never to come back again! Who would, anyway? I was happy after voting! I really felt like an active citizen of the nation. Felt like a responsible adult!

Votes are always like a get together. We all stay in the same locality but hardly meet each other. Busy bees you see! But during votes, we can meet so many people, get involved in chit chats & I just love this! It’s like another festival! While returning home, one Aunty said, the Zila Parishad slip was sky blue in colour. I asked, wasn’t that sea green? I wondered who was colour blind! But my mother acted very diplomatic & said that it was a shade in between sky blue & sea green! :x But I’m pretty sure that it was sea green. But for me, to be very frank, the main excitement of vote lies in the dot in the finger! That proves that I’ve actually voted! I love the dot! It’s very hot! :D

Lot of violence & blood shed took place this year during elections. I hope this never happen again. Ever! I hope the souls of the political victims rest in peace. The Panchayat election results came out yesterday. I found out that the dot is no more on my finger! What a co incidence! The results are not the usual. The ruling party couldn’t make it to a lot of areas. There has been a mix & match. Well, let’s welcome the change & see how things act for the next five years. Keeping my fingers crossed! :-)

Beat The Exam Heat

2008-05-05T08:14:00.000-07:00

Just before the exam started & till it ended, I received various SMSs from my friends! They really helped me smile, break into laughter during that crisis period! They were so true that I couldn’t help but feel amused! I’ve learnt that exams will come & go but we must take it lightly & it gets easier to overcome it! They are like:

This summer:
Lives will close
Options will close
Lives will be shattered

From the makers of PART 2 Exams,

Comes the sequel

PART 3 EXAMS!

Coming soon at a college near you!
Smile courtesy: Rehana

Exam, marks, percentage, sab bekar k baate hai. Sab mohmaya hai. Tum khali hath ayethe, khali hath jaoge. Nadan prani, bhram se niklo, satya ko apnao aur so jao!
Smile courtesy: Dips

Great students like us work on the principle of rockets. Not that we aim for the sky but we don’t start studying unless our tail is on fire!
Smile courtesy: Pallabi

“EXAM ANTHEM”
Hum honge all pass,
Hum honge all pass,
Hum honge all pass ekdin..
Ha ha likhte hai bakwas.
Phir bhi haivishwas,
Paper hoga jhakkas ekdin…
Smile courtesy: Poulomi

Exams are here.
At the paper you stare,
The answer is NOWHERE-
Makes you pull your hair,
The teachers glare,
The grades ain’t fair,
But just like the past 20 years,
WE DON’T CARE!!!
Smile courtesy: Pujasree

Brain is most outstanding object in nature. It functions24 hours, 365 days. It functions right from the time we are born & stops only when

We enter exam hall!
Smile courtesy: Natalia

So folks, if your exams are knocking at the door, open it with a smile on your face! Don’t worry, be happy! :-)

Life - Then, Now & Beyond...

2008-05-02T12:00:00.000-07:00

This time Arnab da has tagged me. For the 1st time! lemme do the honours!!!

Life ten years ago :-
Class VI session had just started. Madhumita Aunty was our class teacher. As far as I can remember, I sat beside Poulomi. Life was pretty fun then! Study was not that big deal then. Math monster didn’t expose its ugly canines & claw. Physics, Chemistry & Biology were pretty interesting. Me & Tanusree got the license to go & come back from school all by ourselves. It was so much fun during monsoons! We got drenched in rain, holding the folded umbrella! :P I didn’t quit playing games like hide n seek, catch me if you can etc in the afternoon. That phase was one step ahead to childhood & a step behind teenage.

Life five years ago :–
It was one of the most crucial time of my life. I appeared for the 1st big exam of my life, 10th board exam. I had reason enough to be nervous & tense. Yet I was excited about it & waited eagerly for it to finish. Going to the exam centre, Birla High School was great fun! Me, Tanusree, Sohini, Sayani & Kreeti along with our parents went together. Those chats, laughter helped me beat the exam anxiety. I remember, after the social science paper all my friends said that ‘Thank God we don’t have to study social science anymore!’ I kept mum. But the day maths & science exam were over, I mouthed the same dialogue with maths & science in lieu of social science! 8) But Baba said you can never get rid of maths throughout your life! I realized how true it was when I had a special statistics paper in college! Well back to five years ago…the cricket world cup was going on. India made it to the final! The final match was scheduled just the day after our board exam finished! My excitement knew no bound. But alas India couldn’t win.:( But never mind! 2nd position isn’t bad either! :)
Then class XI started. As par my wish, I took up humanities. I met new people in my class. I lost my dear pals who went to other streams. But we were in same school! Recess was a relief for me as I could meet them & share tiffin with them. Somebody behaved strangely with me. I can guess the reason now but didn’t know it then, so lost one friend. Sarbani bannerjee, the geography teacher who harassed me like anything just because I didn’t take tution from her! Wish she was my mother in law. I would have lodged a complaint against her under Section 498, IPC. She would have been arrested without a warrant! :P She be damned, she be doomed! But to end it in a happy note, I really did well in studies & ranked for the 1st time in school! :D

Life tomorrow :–
Like every other morning, I think I’ll wake up at around 11 or 11.30 or maybe beyond that! :P I hate to wake up early you see! 8) Have to visit my music mentor’s place to rehearse at 6.30 pm. Have no idea when will I return. Don’t have any more plans for tomorrow. I hope some nice surprise comes up in the way! ;)

Five locations I would run away to –
1. My home. No matter how good the place is, I always crave to come back to my home.
2. Mamabari. Dida & Dadubhai really treat me like a princess. The special treatment I receive there is so special that sometimes I feel suffocated, literally! Tuli is an absolute sweet heart! She is like my disciple, follows me everywhere! My Mamis are like my friends only! The latest attractions being Pakhi & Brishti. My 2 & 1 year old cousin sisters!
3. Mani’s place. Be it Jadugoda, Dhanbad, Hyderabad, Bhubaneshwar or any other place, Mani’s place is always beautiful, full of life, full of love & warmth. The welcome I receive there, Ratul’s company, Mesho’s taunting & giving advice, is just another heaven for me. Mesho & Mani are like my parents, Ratul is like my own brother & their place is like my own home!
4. Purulia & Durgapur – Both the places have same values for me. Durgapur has some more though! I spent my childhood in these places. Away from the city, close to nature. I learnt so many things in Purulia. I was such a smart & active kid then! I sang, danced, recited poems, did gymnastics, played & interacted with anybody around, that could be a dog or a goat too! The red soiled roads, the hills, the greenery & the nice people around were really wonderful! Durgapur was also special in the sense that it was where my father grew up & so did I, to some extent. I was famous as Bordimoni’r natni. My grandmother, Mamma was the headmistress of the Durgapur Girls’ High School. There was a big mango tree in the courtyard of the Durgapur home which contributed big time to my love for mangoes. I think my love for dogs also had the origin in Durgapur. We had so many dogs then, Kalu, Bagha etc. etc. Mind you, all of them were stray dogs! Those visit in the park in the afternoons, games of twilight! Visit to City centre for shopping & stuff with Maa & Kakimas & occasional visit to the Durgapur Barrage with Baba & kakus! All my cousins, Pompom, Titli & Tatun were born there. I got the sense of being an elder sister in Durgapur! These 2 places are really special for me!
5. Kashmir, Puri & Goa – Kashmir is the best place I’ve been to so far. It’s literally heaven on earth! I would like to go there once again just to spend some more days in Pahalgao. One day stay was nothing in comparison to what Pahalgao had to offer! I would love to run away to Puri & Goa as I love sea & they are the best places to experience the beauty of seas!
Sorry, I have mentioned more than five places & still have more to mention. If given a chance, I would like to make world tour as I just love traveling but those are the locations where I will ‘run to!’

Five bad habits I have :–
1. Procrastination
2. Over sleeping
3. Too much laughing & crying which often leads to awkward positions
4. Tearing my skin when involved too much in something & realize only when it starts bleeding badly. Also, dividing the split ends of hair!
5. I get addicted very easily to something which is introduced to me, for e.g. TV, chatting, tea, books etc. But I can overcome it easily!

Five things I will never wear :–
1. Plunging necklines
2. Backless, off shoulder, spaghetti, halter neck out fits
3. Midriff exposing outfits. I make it a point to drape sari in such a manner that it never reveals my navel.
4. Mini skirts, half pants, Bermudas etc.
5. Accessories such as high heels, piercing in any part of the body except ears & more than one ear ring in each ear.

Five biggest joys at the moment :–
1. My exams are over
2. The cassette/CD which I’m a part of will release soon
3. I will visit Mani’s place & Durgapur soon
4. The book ‘Amader Kotha’ written by Bijoya Ray, has finally been published & I know exactly what to gift Maa on her birth day this year!
5. Nature has given indication that members of my family, on the maternal line will increase! Thanks to Mishti Mashi & Mou Mami! :)

Something to achieve by next year :–
I hope to be a graduate this year only! By next year, I guess I will be doing my MA. I hope that go on smoothly. I also want to continue with my singing, in a more serious manner. As far as achievement is concerned, by next year, these are the ones & nothing concrete is coming to my mind right now particularly for next year.

Something that impacted me last year :–
Quite a lot of things impacted me last year. Moon Didi’s marriage. She is one of my very close friends. She is like my own elder sister. Her marriage made me happy & sad at the same time! I enjoyed like anything in her marriage! It was awesome! Wish her all the happiness! My dissertation. It was my independent work. My imagination, my way of doing something which finally took a beautiful shape! My accident. It has made me very shaky & nervous while I’m on the streets. I always have the feeling that I’ll be hit by something. I’m really scared of crossing the road now! :( Stripping friendship with a very good friend of mine.

What I will miss about 2007 :–
Being a part of my college, SXC! I really gonna miss those days, I’m gonna miss my college days. :( The year 2007 itself!

Five things I want to do before I die :–
1. Complete reading as much classic literature as possible
2. Sing as many Rabindrasangeets as possible
3. Write something really meaningful. Be it something in prose or poetry.
4. Do a job which will satisfy me aesthetically, morally & economically, inspite of being married happily with cute & healthy kids! (Hope all these things will harmonize!)
5. Last but not the least…I want everybody to be proud of me. Be it my parents, other family members, friends, everybody! I don’t want to die thinking myself to be a waste of life. I must make a positive mark in the society & I’m sure I’ll do it!

No it's my turn to tag. I tag Abhishek, Sohini (you have been tagged twice dear!) & Titli.

Wish I had a piano...

2008-04-04T13:23:00.000-07:00

Today the weather was oh so romantic! It started raining since last night & when I woke up in the morning & looked outside the window, chilly wind touched my face along with rain drops. The rain was so thick that it was like looking through a heavy white curtain. I cancelled my plan to go outside.
In the afternoon I was listening to ‘The Best of Richard Clayderman’ & felt enthralled. Few days back t2 came up with an article as to which celebrity should insure which parts of their body. A reader wrote back that Richard Clayderman must insure his fingers. I totally agree with him! Kudos to Richard Clayderman! Not that I didn’t listen to his music before but maybe because this was the 1st time 3 things were so well coordinated, the weather, my mood & of course the music. I really wished to have a piano & play it as…ok, not as good as him but even if I had a quarter of his flair, I would have been obliged to the Nature! At the same time, I felt very nostalgic. At some point of my childhood, even I played piano.
I was 10 at that time. My mother’s uncle had a piano in their Jodhpur Park residence. We used to visit their place quite often & for me, the main appeal lied within that graceful piano. It looked so charming & elegant. With glossy black body, milk white reeds, everything associated to it attracted me like heaven! My 2 aunts, Tania Mashi & Lipi Mashi played it so well! Their long, beautiful manicured fingers moved over the reeds like mermaids playing in water. Their beauty added to the lure of the piano was like reading a live fairy tale! As I had always read about piano in stories & saw them in good films. I fulfilled my penchant by playing my humble harmonium. But I wanted to be like my glamorous aunts. Wanted to solve the mystery as whether the piano contributed grace to them or vice versa! Once I had the golden opportunity. Nobody was around & I couldn’t resist myself. Slowly lifted the lid & moved my fingers over the reeds. Everyone looked at the source of the sound. My mother became very embarrassed & asked me to leave it & come back. But Lipi Mashi was a great support. She asked me to play whatever & however I felt like! To my quite surprise I found out that like my harmonium, the piano too gives out the music of Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Dha Ni! Everyone got amused & told me that music is same everywhere, be it Sa Re Ga r Do Re Mi! After getting a little accustomed to the organ, I played the Titan tune. I could hear a round of applause for me! I was so happy! It was like a dream come true! I was playing it with my right hand & didn’t use the left one. Lipi Mashi told me that she’ll teach me how to play it properly. But then, times change, situations change. They moved to the USA. I grew up & the pressure of study increased. I was happy playing the harmonium & tabla only!
Today I added 3 more thing to my wish list. In future, I’ll live in a big house. I’ll have a piano & I’ll definitely learn to play that. Till then, thank you for the music Mr. Clayderman!

Alphabetic Tag

2008-04-01T13:42:00.000-07:00

It's Sohini once again & this tag goes like this...

A – A+ve, my blood group. Animals, I love them except few, cats are one of the unlucky species! Adore, I’m adorable, am I not? ;) Anindya, no description required! 8)

B – Baba, again no description required! Babies – One of the best ways to cope depression! When you see them smile, you’ll forget your sorrow. When you see them cry, you’ll forget your sorrow & think about theirs! Bubbles, I love making & blowing them! Tuktuki didi’s dog had the name Bubble! Bangla – Amar bhasha. Band- I really like band music.

C – Chocolates. Chicken & yeah, crybaby is applicable to me too!

D – Doggy, do I need to describe?! Dukkhobilash – I love doing it. Maa loves doing it & all my dear friends love doing it. I don’t know about others but it makes me feel very pure. Oh, I just remembered, my 1st crush’s name starts with D.

E – Egg, my 1st louu!

F – Friends…they mean everything to me! Fun & frolic, I love these essences in my life! Feluda, one of my favourite heroes! Fuchka, ummm, the very thought makes me salivate!

G – G. We used to call a girl in our school G as she resembled Mr. George Wilson of Denis The Menace, but she wasn’t that sportive & complained to the ever grumpy class teacher NR! Globalization – can’t escape from it!

H – Home, best place ever! Holiday, always die for it. Hasnuhana, love the flower & the song. Humour, if you lack that, God help you have some! High 5!

I – Imagine, love to do & love the song. Iman – my favourite raga. Inky pinky ponky - helps me in tricky situations & MCQs.

J – July, my birth month. Jesus, my surreal love!

K – Karl Marx. Kumbhakarna – When it comes to sleep, I'm the female version of this mythological character! :P

L – Love, that’s what I need & I’m a kangal of this. Laughter - The best medicine. Life - It's all about it! Lizzie McGuire, I’m a lot like her.

M – Maa, once again no description required. Music…can’t live without it, literally! Marx/Marxism…highly optimist. Max Weber on the other hand, highly pessimist. Mamabari – half of my life has been spent here.

N – Nose, my best feature. Nature – I spell God like this. Night – I just love it!

O – Optimist. Yes I am! Orkut – anything can happen over this site!

P – Pink, my favourite colour! Pain, feeling it inside out! Procrastination, I practice it now & then. Practice makes a man perfect. Nobody’s perfect. So why practice? Khik khik! :P Pallabi, my best friend & integral part of my life. Paana pukure chaan kore mor shordi legechhe! A song which became very popular during our school days!

Q – Queer, it’s just another word to describe me! Queen, the very feeling of being one is so exciting! Question paper, questions are never a problem. They are always good. But the problem lies in the answers!

R – Rain, I’ve some ethereal connection with it. That’s why I’m the Rain girl, if you’ve wondered about it so while! Rainbow. Rabindranath/Rabindrasangeet - Amar bhitore bahire, ontore ontore, achho tumi hridoy jure...

S – Sreetama, that’s me! The letter ‘S’ itself, the best looking alphabet. Sohini – She is my best friend too! Paragon of virtues, capable of being a baby & a mother at the same time! Snow - Love to watch them fall & play with them. Sunshine – Love it on my shoulders on a winter morning & after a long spell of rain. Love the song too!

T – Tinni, that’s my nickname. Cute na? Tintin – My teenage hero! I got inspired to be a journalist from him! That reminds me, Teenage. This phase is like wearing winter clothes in hot summer! Comparison courtsey: Hannah Montana.

U – Umbrella, never leave home without it. Remember the story Umbrella Man?

V – Voyeur, everyone is one!

W – Wacky – another word to describe me! Wand, magic wala, I wish I had one! Wish! Women - Proud to be one.

X – Xavier’s, my institution. Xaverian – Proud to be one!

Y – Yahoo! My favourite search engine! Yes, ya, yup – Positive words! Yawn – I do it quite often!

Z –Zoo, must be wondering how I came to know your address? ;) Zzzzzzzz – feeling sleepy!

Well, I’m done! Now anybody can do this tag!

2008-03-27T13:39:00.000-07:00

Its exam time once again & I’m feeling blue! As usual! This is the final one & little different from others too! I’m feeling nervous & excited all at a same time. The reasons for excitement are less so let’s begin with the reasons for nervousness so that I can end with exciting reasons & feel anything but blue!

3rd year syllabus is equal to what we had done in these 2 years & more!

We did not have any serious exams in this year except silly 50 marks class tests! Will I be able to deliver the perfect answers during finals? It will be more like ‘Hate groom pate groom answers!’ On hearing this, many faces stretched muscles to manage hearty laughter but this is a very dark truth! No matter what, I used to get a confidence that I know the question patterns & the proper points which had to be written. But now I neither have any idea about the hammer, nor the nail! So how can I hit it perfectly?

There are soo many topics which keep me scratch my head! I detest the 1st & last papers which deal with theories & theorists! No scope for improvisation. Just nod your head with the old haggard fellows! They just make me go ‘urghhh’ But yes, there are criticisms where I can take out my angst & despair against them! But the problem is, when I need to give the main points, points of criticism come to my mind & vice versa. This is good though but creates a lot of confusion for me. The other 2 papers deal with Indian social problems & institutions. These sound very interesting! Especially topics like ‘child abuse, violence against women, divorce, youth, old age etc.’ but…ki jatona bishe, bujhibe she kishe, kobhu ashibishe dongsheni jare…But here I can bhatify unlike the theory papers!

I always belong to terminal groups! I’m either the 1st or the last batch of a particular education system…Right from school days to the end of college life. In University of Calcutta, we were the 1st batch to sit for 3 University exams which previously was 2. In 2nd year, little alteration was done to it. Right was Professor Dr. Partha Mukherjee “The University takes a wrong decision, realizes it after 3 years & again takes a wrong decision!” My batch is the last batch under University of Calcutta as St. Xavier’s College has been certified to be an autonomous institution.

Till then, we have been treated as step children by everyone. The professors want all of us to pass out by hook or crook. Attendance shortage, not appearing for crucial examinations, nothing is a hindrance anymore now! This is a boon for the rebels but what about good girls like me? I was really upset! Muri michhrir ek dor? :x Moreover, nobody is worried or interested about part 3 exams. Everyone is just bothered about semesters. We had to take so much toil to find out the time table in the notice board which is filled with semester notices!

Then the very thought of writing examination under CU! You can only understand my reason by the following example. One of my classmates appeared for CAT. When the results were out, we asked her about it. She said that she didn’t even chek her percentile as she gave hopeless performance! We cheered her up by saying that she should check it out as one never knows…She replied “Yaar, ye CAT hai, Calcutta University nahi k ulta marks ayega!” I hope you can understand…

Then the exam starts from 18th of April & look at the previous day! It’s my parents’ silver jubilee marriage anniversary. I had so many plan with it but phew! Angana’s sister is getting married on 17th. Her situation is more pathetic! Pallabi’s brither is leaving for Germany on 17th night! I really feel like shrieking aloud ‘WHY US???’

Since this is my college final exam, I have to get admitted in another institute for higher studies. After Part 3, after a little bit of chillaxation I have to prepare for those admission tests. If by God’s grace, I get selected I have to face interviews & GDs. The very thought gives me shudders! Then there is tension whether I’ll get through mass comm. Institutes or gave to grill myself in doing MA in sociology!

Tension, worry, anxiety, nervousness, apprehension all are coming & giving me warm tight hugs! I feel sympathetic at myself! I have come up with this brilliant philosophy: ‘Chaap niye labh nei!’ as it wont change my present situation! I don’t know if my regular routine of study is adequate or not. But I’m trying hard to meet the ends! God help me! I feel sleepy 24*7! When I finally call it a day & retire, I’m wide awake! How ridiculous! I feel that everyone else is so happy as they don't have to drown in notes! I wish I were a dog, a bird, a bee...anything! I know, the day I’ll finish all my exams, I’ll be brimming with energy! This is life! Truly!

Well, I have reasons to get excited too…

It’ll take just 4 days & a week to do away with Part 3.

Finally I’ll be a graduate!

I have only honours papers & pass papers or stupid subjects are gone with Part 2.

I’ll have a new life after this, in a new institute, new curriculum & probably a new city.

Uh-oh…look at the ratio of reasons for nervousness & excitement & these will happen way after the immediate future. So…Feeling blue…All the best guys!

2008-03-06T23:06:00.000-08:00

I just watched Jodhaa Akbar. It received various lukewarm reactions from the audience till the day it had released. It can be classified into two.
1. Too lengthy, very boring, overboard, chatu etc. etc.
2. Good film, ignoring the fact that it’s too long. It’ll give you aesthetic satisfaction.

After watching it, I support those having the 2nd opinion. I agree that it’s too long but 3 ½ hrs was worth spending for this film. I felt sleepy & my leg started aching but that was because I was really tired that day! But it’s very beautiful. It contained the good, the bad & the ugly characters (every film contains them except Karan Johar films where each & every characters are like tulsi leaves washed in Ganges water!) It’s lavish! The sets, the costumes, the jewelries, war & love sequences, food, animals…the whole film in fact! Hrithik & Aishwarya’s ethereal beauty enchanted me! They are fabulous actors! I love Hrithik anyway but my heart doesn’t have enough space for Mrs. Aishwarya Rai Bachhan. I liked her in very few movies & Jodhaa Akbar is one of them. Her best scene in the movie, according to me is when Jodhaa Bai learns about her husband, the Badshah of Hindustan Jalaluddin Mohammad Akbar’s illiteracy. What expression! The music is nice. Very contextual, melodious, full of soul & very royal. Jashn-E-Bahara & In lamho ki daman me are my favourites but songs like Khwaja mere khwaja & Marhabba didn’t impress me much before but after taking into consideration the situation, I liked them too! Manmohana is another wonderful song in the movie! But the background score is awesome. I could recognize elements of Bahar in it. The language used in the film is another character of the film. The urdu was understandable except few words of which we found out the meanings ourselves. I’ve decided, whenever I would like to talk with someone in private, I would utter the word Ekant! It showed very well how Diwan e Aam was used for administrative & political purposes & Diwan e Khaas for aesthetic discussions with few selected people. The way Akbar asked Bairam Khan & the Maulavi to retire was really amusing! It was nice to watch Sonu Sood as Sujamal. It had been a long time since he was seen in silver screen after Ashiq Banaya Aapne that too in a meaty role. Last but not the least; Big B’s narration is an added treasure.

Now, let’s view the film from a different angle. After watching the film, I think, instead of Jodhaa Akbar, it should have been christened Joddha Akbar (warrior Akbar). The film started with war, ended with war. In the middle of the film, Akbar & others decided about warfare, annexation, strategy, little bit of religious practices. The scarce time he was left with, he spend with his wife Jodhaa. In fact the matrimonial alliance was a part of annexation of Rajput Empire. But yes, it was successful to show how much fond hubby Akbar was for wife Jodhaa in certain scenes. The narrator raised the question that why Jodhaa Bai & Akbar’s love story isn’t so famous? How can it be? It’s just another story of arranged marriage metamorphosing into a passionate love story. Jodhaa Bai was clear with her concept of marriage; ‘Saat janmo ka bandhan’ which she couldn’t do away with. So love Akbar or hate Akbar, she hardly had any choice. If you stay with a person for 24*7, it’s quite normal that slight affection will grow for that person in your heart. Same happened with Jodhaa Bai. Moreover, Akbar took care of the whole country & became the favourite ruler. In the process he won her heart which was the condition for having Jodhaa’s love! It was more like watching Akbarnama than Jodhaa Bai & Akbar’s love story. I’m sure, if Sanjay Leela Bhanshali, Karan Johar or Yash Chopra dealt with the subject, the film wouldn’t have anything else but Jodhaa & Akbar romancing everywhere, in bedroom, in court, in terrace, in temples & mosques, in kitchen, inside the utensils (man, they were so big!) & who knows, even in the Warfield! There would even be a rain song & dance sequence. I hope it showed how Din I Ilahi came up, his Navaratna - little bit of humour from Birbal & some more music from Tansen. Hope they knew some more expressions for appreciation except Subhanllah! The questions which will always remain unanswered are, howcome the young Akbar (played by the boy who played the role of Aishwarya’s son in Kuchh na Kaho) had black eyes & the grown up Akbar was cat eyed! Same with young (popular child model) & grown up Jodhaa, the difference is between black & dark brown eyes. Were contact lenses so popular in those days?? Par koi baat nahi, bade bade filmo me aisi chhoti chhoti galtiya ho jati hai! What was the need of showing the eunuch as one of Jodhaa Bai’s personal attendants? Did someone like this really exist? Where did Dai Maa disappear after the truth regarding her wicked plan was unveiled? Did she meet the same fate as her son Adam? What was the source of so much dazzling illumination before the song in lamho ki daman? Aishwarya was perfect for Jodhaa’s role but what about Hrithik? He would have fitted perfectly for Alexander the Great’s role. As it is he has a Greek God kinda physique & look. But the picture of Akbar which we are used to is short & fat. Govinda would have been the ideal actor to play Akbar. Even Shah Rukh Khan, if he had put on some weight. But let it be for the sake of the mass!

After the scrutiny, all I can say is, love the film or hate the film, you can’t ignore the film. According to the box office reports, it’s a hit! Inshallah!

2008-03-05T23:42:00.000-08:00

Mang liya zindagi se zyada

Chhin gaya wo jisne kiya wada

Did I really want more from life? Why does it always happen that I don't get what I want & get what I don't want? Not always though but...why??? Why do I always keep losing people who promised to be with me? I'll find it out! I'm just waiting for it to happen for the 3rd time. They say, if you feel others are wrong & you are right, let that be. If that happens twice, then this world is rude but same thing happening thrice, it's all your fault! I'm waiting for it...Hope that 3rd time never comes...

On a happy note! It's not the last day of my life right? I still have many more days & years to live. How do I know what's in store for me in the box of chocolates? :-)

2008-02-17T13:23:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, there was a little girl of hardly 3 or 4 yrs of age. She was a darling daughter of her parents, sweetheart of her grandparents. She took barely few minutes to be the apple of eyes of those with she interacted. She ruled the world of her near & dear ones. Much of her childhood was spent in her mamabari, a joint family. Not to mention, she was the centre of attraction of everyone. Right from her grand parents, uncles, aunts, household helps to neighbours & shopkeepers of the locality. She was literally a ‘princess’. Everything was at her command.
Her mama was getting married. She was very happy! She got to wear such beautiful dresses, saw everyone getting decked up, especially her mother. Well, her mother hardly wore any make up so that really registered at the little mind. Marriage was over. Next day came the bride. Her mother instructed her to call the bride Notun Mami. She was happy but somehow she felt that something is wrong. Things are not the same anymore. She realized, after much pondering, she is no more the centre of attraction. She is not getting the same attention which she is very much used to. After little more investigation, she found out that the culprit is this new entrant, her so called ‘Notun Mami’. She thought who is she? Why is everyone so bothered about her? She went to her & started a conversation.
G (Girl) – Tumi amar Notun Mami?
B (Bride) – Amay Notun Mami bolona.
G – Tahole ki bolbo?
B – Amay Mamoni bolo.
G – Maa to tomay Notun Mami dakte bollo!
B – Ami bolchhi, tumi amay Mamoni bole deko. Oto boro naam dakte hobena. R ami to shobshomoy notun thakbona! Tokhon ki amay purono mami bole dakbe shona?
She laughed as she told this, kissed & hugged her. But she got very annoyed! How dare she refuse the name given to her by her mother? She complained her mother:
G – Maa jano, Notun mami khub pocha! Tomar dewa naamta nilona. Amay Mamoni bole dakte bollo.
To her utter surprise, she wasn’t angry & asked her to stick to ‘Mamoni’. She wasn’t much satisfied but she didn’t have any choice. She noticed, hardly anybody talked to her. Her Mamoni took her place. Her anger kept rising as temperature on a hot summer day. At evening, everyone gathered at the bride’s room to see the gifts. She observed the same thing. But this time, gifts were the attraction. Her rage rose. Even Mamoni was a better competitor than these silly gifts! Suddenly she started feeling very hot in the winter evening. Her little skull got so heavy that it seemed to burst. She flushed & sweated. She tried to talk but was stopped by her mother who asked her to keep quiet & see the gifts. She couldn’t take it anymore. The next thing to get unwrapped was a shredder, kitchen tool to shred vegetables. She recognized the object & its use. She remembered, her mother takes most care of her when she gets hurt. Without thinking twice, she rubbed her little fingers over the sharp kitchen tool. Now everyone turned to her. Her fingers were bleeding, skin got scratched badly. But thinks didn’t turn as she had wanted. It was decided that she must be kept out of this room as similar accident might occur again. Some gifts are really harmful for kids! She was made to sit in a room all by herself after some first aid. This time, things were worse. Her fingers were paining. What an insult it was to be thrown out of the room that too in front of Mamoni! What bugged her was, everybody thought that she did that without understanding or what harm it could cause her. ‘No damn it! I just wanted to shift your attention!’ She thought as she looked at the glass window pane. It was a little broken. She punched it hard. So hard that it broke with a bang. Alarmed by the noise, everyone left the room & came to her. Yes! Now she got back her previous place. She got the same importance now. Her mission was accomplished. Everyone surrounded her, even Mamoni & asked several questions! Her mother & grand mother crying feeling her pain. Whole of her right palm was bleeding profusely now. She smiled, cunning or vindictive? She knew not!
This little girl grew up to be a shy & introvert personality. Always running away from the spotlight. She still loves getting attention but only if it comes spontaneously from the other side. Maybe after that incident, she had this notion that attention brings pain along with it. She doesn’t want to get hurt anymore. She really gets amused about her childhood lunacy! Oh ya, she shares great rapport with her Mamoni now! Still wondering? Yes, that little girl is me!

KASAK

2008-01-07T00:11:00.000-08:00

This is a verryy interesting tag. A musical one! All u need to do is to put ur music player in shuffle mode. Take one question & click the next song. That's ur answer for the question no matter one! It may come out to be very funny, maybe very true! Lets see...

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?
Ek ajnabi haseena se yun mulaqat ho gayi - Bas Yunhi!
Noo its not okay! :( I want a 'mulaqat with my familiar stranger jesus! :P ;)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Ek pal ke liye - Ankahee
Hmm a moment spend with me may seem to be a divine one! ;)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Feel - Robbie Williams
Yeah yeah! it'l do!

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Fool Again - Westlife
Noooo I don't feel like this today. I feel like this when I feel low. can't believe that I'm the fool again! Yeah, I feel like this once again! :(

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Ganpat - Shootout At Lokhandwala
Am laughing out loud!!! Rolling on floor with laughter! My life's purpose is "Aye ganpat chal daru laa!" HAHAHAH!!! NOOOOOO! But yeah, I want to enjoy my life n b stress free! So the spirit of the song is correct!

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Gudgudee - Just Married
Awww such a sweet song! yeah, my motto is to have a thrilling life!

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Gumsum Ho Kyun? - Shaan
Nooo they always find me bubbling with energy or laughter. The song should have been: Tum itna jo muskurarahe ho, kya gham hai jisko chhupa rahe ho...

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Haan Maine Bhi Chhunkar Dekha Hai - Black
Wow!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Halke Halke - Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Limited
yes yes, I think about nice things in my life quite often & wonder what'll happen next! :D

WHAT IS 2+2?
Hide - Creed
I know the answer is 4. See, there is no reason to hide for me! 8)

DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Lips of an Angel - Hinder
Wowwww! My best friend is an angel & ofcourse the lips will be lips of an angel!!! :)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
I Just Wanna Spend My Life With U - Neal N Nikki
Noo I just wanna spend my life with the person I love, not the one I like.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Imaan Ka Assar - Dor
yeaaahhh! very true!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Ishq Vishq Pyar Vyar - Ishq Vishq
HAHAHAHAHA! :D

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
it's A Beautiful Day - Aryan
Ohhh it can't get truer!!!

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Jaadu Hai Nasha Hai - Jism
Ohh really??? :P

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
jab Se Tere Naina - Saawariya
Wowww! I would love to!!!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Janeman - Aryan
Yeah, u can play it. I love this one! I will try to reincarnate & come back ASAP! :D

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Jeene Ke Ishaare Mil Gaye - Phir Milenge
Yes surely! :D

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Junoon - Abhijeet Sawant
Yess this is an open secret actually! My madness! ;)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Kisi Hai Ye Rut - Dil Chahta Hai
I love this song & I love my firends! :)

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Kasak - Chhodon na Yaar!
What to say about this! Wow! Hope u'll feel the Kasak & read the whole post patiently!!! :D

Well now its ur turn! If u feel interested, go for it!!!

Tagged once again...

2008-01-06T11:36:00.002-08:00

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it ?
On my left ear, I have 2 scras. I got 1 when I was just 2 or 3 yrs old, while running it got cut by the sharp centre table edge. 2nd one was cooler! It happened in Bhuswal(Maharashtra) My firend was swinging on the swing & while I was passing, it hit me. My ear got divided into 2 parts :(
2. What does your phone look like?
Silver flap phone, samsung. It looks very aristocratic! 8)
3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?
Calender, pictures...
4. What is your current desktop picture?
Blue flowers & a friendship quote : Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
5. Do you believe in gay marriage?
I don't have any problem. There's nothing sacred or profane about it.
6. What do you want more than anything right now?
Nothing as such...
7. Are your parents still together?
Yes. Touch wood! They'll soon celebrate their 25th marraige anniversary! :)
8. Last person who made you cry?
Not a person actually. A film, the whole concept. Taare Zameen Par! :D
9. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?
Anything that smells good.
10. What are you listening to?
Inside Out - Bryan Adams
11. Do you get scared of the dark?
No, I love darkness!
12. Do you like pain killers?
No.
13. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
Yes.
14. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
Chocolates!
15. Who was the last person who made you mad?
Nobody. That's my job!
16. Who was the last person who made you smile?
Maa :)
17. Is someone in love with you?
Yeaahh! My HH! It has to be him! :P

2007-12-06T08:05:00.000-08:00

Few days back I had a dream, rather a nightmare. I was walking down a lonely road. Actually the road wasn’t lonely, I was alone. Sometime later, I saw my friend coming from the other side. She too saw me, but we just ignored each other. Why??? Nothing was wrong between us. Then I turned back & called her, she turned & threw a plastic smile at me. I was kinda spellbound. I just managed to ask how she was, she just said that she was fine & left after saying that she was getting late. After few steps, I saw a bunch of other friends. They talked among themselves but nobody noticed me. I thought of going & talking to them but I didn’t. I moved ahead. Well that’s it.
This is not just a dream. This proves that even my unconscious mind is aware of my feeling. The worm has been eating up my mind. I dunno what’s so wrong with me Maybe nothing. I’m just too tired. Tired of this life. Even a year back I dreaded death. But today I’m completely ready to accept it. Sometimes I feel if I was dead, may be things would have been better. Hoyto more gele hoto beshi bhalo….Though I don’t want to die, but I’m ready to accept it. I’m just 21, yet I have no hope, no aim, no ideal. What am I running for? What’ll happen to me at the end? Everyone is running to the land of nowhere. We spend our whole life either studying or working, b a dog just to have a happy old age, that too is not an assured gift from life. U can just die rich, economically bt whether u’ll smile n die…that’s a completely different question. The society has nothing to offer. It’s a complete anarchy what is going on at present. Cases close n never get solved. Girls are ill-treated openly n nobody offers a helping hand but enjoys. I have the right to vote. But what’s the use? None of the leaders, party inspires me. I don’t know where life will take me to.
When I feeling like this, I shudder at the thought of future. There’s hardly anyone who is there, rather who has time to spend with me. Spending time is something much to ask, they don’t even have time to say just a plain n simple Hi! Everyone is busy in their lives. Only I still have time to think about them, miss them…dunno till how long will I b able to continue. But I love them. God bless them.
I want to finish it with an instance that happened with my cousin bro. Ribhu, who is in class VII now, has to take up an additional subject. His mother asked him to choose him himself, on the basis of his career interest, So he was asked: "Tor boro hoye ki hote ichha kore?” He came up with his ready answer: “Amar boro hoye kichhu hote ichha korena. Amar boro hotei ichha korena. Sharadin mathe bat ball niye khelte ichha kore.” What more can I say? Poor soul, poor us! God help everyone!

Sweet Something!

2007-10-24T12:26:00.000-07:00

This happened long time back but today I got time to pen this down. I went to my mamabari in Lake Gardens. My cousin Tuli, a little yet big girl, all of 10 gave me the best gift she could have ever given to me! She was having her exam & from her busy schedule, she decided to gift me something…something really very sweet! I don’t know whether it was a part of her assignment or not, like write few lines about your sister/brother neither do I want to know. But this is something which I’ll treasure all my life! She wrote a testimonial for me! I have received quite a number of testimonials from my dear friends & I treasure them all but this is special! This is written by my ‘youngest friend’ who gave it personally to me!
I want to share it with all of you…It goes something like this…

About Tinni Didi,
She is one of the sweet girl of all.
She looks very much like Barbie dolls.
She is my eldest sister.
She is very good in studies.
When I grow up I want to become like her.
She tells me many stories.
I love her because she is very helpful, caring and brave girl.
I love Tinni Didi very much.
From Tuli

It has few grammatical errors but no spelling mistakes! But the way she expressed herself is just beyond any words. This little piece of paper brought tears to my eyes & I still feel like crying. She gave three reasons why she loves me but I love you for no reason at all. I love you JLT!!!

Miss U Catwalk!

2007-08-29T12:44:00.000-07:00

6th of August 2007 brought a new year for me. It’s my 3rd & last year in my college, SXC. I love it for so many reasons & maybe I have more reasons to hate it but whenever I remember that I’m a Xaverian, I can’t help but love it! I’m proud to be a part of this ancient yet modern institute. It has a completely different culture. So varied & cosmopolitan that sometimes my identity blurs & sometimes I’m too conscious of who or what I am. Xavier’s’ mean a lot to me! It’s another world for me, really! It has given me, taught me, made me something!
Xavier’s can proudly boast of being one of the most beautiful colleges in Kolkata. The building looks good, the chapel is so peaceful and the greenery can mesmerize you! This is a view from the front gate, but you must enter from the back gate at least once to know how Xavier’s actually is! Then only you can feel its charm, its vastness. The ground is soo big man! The green grasses looks & feels like velvet, you’ll at once know that it is regularly taken care of. The Green Benches, no no, not the one in court but green coloured benches where Xavierians sit, chat, chillax & have gala time in the afternoon & parents, especially mothers of the school students wait for their children. The path which leads you to the main building is known as the Catwalk. It’s so rightly named! We acquire a certain grace like a swan while walking on it! Whenever I enter through the back gate, walk on the catwalk, view the ground & head towards the college building, I get a feeling that this is my passport to my dreamland! This walk has varied in all these 3 years. 1st day of 1st year I was a shaky girl, walked on the catwalk with not so confident steps, having lots of doubts & confusion going on in my suddenly grown up yet childish mind. 2nd year, my group SPARK was formed properly & we 4 moved on it in a careless careful attitude! We tested how it felt being seniors & yet we were conscious of the so called senior most batch or the 3rd years! We seemed prudent to the juniors but appeared silly in front of the seniors! Yet another year has passed & we now hold the prestigious & much awaited position of the 3rd years! Our moves are the most confident! It has been our 2nd home by now. We walk on the Catwalk as if it’s the entrance to our drawing room. We are so confident! We need not think of any one as we are on the apex now. So the passerby’s are either our juniors or batch mates.
But this year, the college authorities made a decision to do away with the Green Benches. We are having staff quarters instead & so, our dear Catwalk has to suffer. It is undergoing attacks of the various digging instruments & it is heaped with cement, mud & all such rubbishes! Our beautifully cemented & tiled catwalk is now replaced with a temporary arrangement of bricks. Mind you, the difference is heaven & hell! This brick walk instead of cat walk reminds me of the atrocious road of Paikhala village which we visited as a part of NSS trip. It was a horror during last few days of heavy downpour. Water logged & it was filled with mud & we lost all our grace while walking on it. Yuckkk!!! This shift is like waking up from a beautiful dream. But this is not done! Seriously I want my Catwalk back! Not only Catwalk has suffered, all those beautiful trees which we used to have in the compound have been cut down. It has undergone such a drastic change that it hurts to have a look at it! I just hope this work finishes soon & our compound becomes as beautiful as before, with Catwalk & those trees! Though Green Benches won’t be there but since we were not that much attached to it, I can do without it but I can’t compromise with Catwalk! Come back Catwalk! I miss you!!!

Tagged Again

2007-08-25T05:21:00.000-07:00

Here I go...
If I were a beginning, I would be:- the beginning of life
If I were a month, I would be: -july
If I were a day of the week, I would be :– thursday
If I were a time of day, I would be: - dusk
If I were a planet, I would be:- jupiter
If I were a season, I would be:- fall
If I were a sea animal, I would be:- the blue whaleI
f I were a direction, I would be:- east
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be:- book shelf
If I were a sin, I would be:- an apple
If I were a liquid, I would be:- water
If I were a fraud/scare, I would be:- lies
If I were a gem, I would be:- diamond
If I were a tree, I would be:- mango tree
If I were a tool, I would be:– pen
If I were a flower/plant, I would be:- Shiuli
If I were a kind of weather, I would be:- raining cats & dogs
If I were a musical instrument, I would be:- piano
If I were an animal, I would be:- dog
If I were an emotion, I would be:- happyness
If I were a vegetable, I would be:- potato
If I were a sound, I would be:- laughter of a baby
I were an element, I would be:-water
If I were a car, I would be:- chevrolet avio
If I were a song, I would be:- JeTore Pagol Bole Tare Tui Bolishne Kichhu
If I were a food, I would be:- eggs
If I were a place, I would be:- Kashmir
If I were a material, I would be:- Cotton
If I were a taste, I would be:- chocolaty
If I were a scent, I would be:-the scent of a baby
If I were a religion, I would be:- humanist
If I were a sentence, I would be:-If its truth, it shouldn't hurt u. If its not a truth, it shouldn't hurt u
If I were a body part, I would be:-the eyes
If I were a facial expression, I would be:- smiling
If I were a subject in college, I would be:- sociology
If I were a shape, I would be:- circle
If I were a quantity, I would be:- meagre
If I were a colour, I would be:-baby pink
If I were a thing, I would be:- a watch
If I were a landmass, I would be:- rugged
If I were a book, I would be:- Ho Jo Bo Ro Lo
If I were a monument, I would be:- The Taj Mahal
If I were an artist, I would be:-a singer
If I were a collection of poems, I would be:- that of Tagore poems
If I were a landscape, I would be:- sea side
If I were a watch, I would be.- ahead of time
If I were God, I would be:- impossible
If I were a vowel, I would be: i
If I were a consonant, I would be: s
If I were a formula, I would be:- a confusing one
If I were a Science, I would be:- social science
If I were a theory, I would be:- criticised
If I were a famous person, I would be.:- Barkha Dutt
If I were an electronic equipment, I would be:- computer
If I were sport, I would be:- hide n seek
If I were a movie, I would be:- sound of music
If I were a cartoon, I would be:- noddy
If I were an explorer, I would be:- colombus
If I were a scientist, I would be:- an Indian scientist
If I were a relation, I would be:-a daughter
If I were a river, I would be:-Teesta
If I were intoxication, I would be:-life
If I were alone, I would be:- free
If I were a question, then I would be:- tai naki???
If I were a hobby, I would be:- reading
If I were a habit, I would be:- biting nails
If I were in an atom, I would be:- no idea what
If I were an end, I would be:- dead
If I were you, I would be:- not me.

I tag Pujasree & Arnab Da.

The Hottest Day

2007-08-09T10:57:00.000-07:00

I think today was the hottest day of my life! I’ve never felt so hot before! Not that my skin felt hot, but my taste buds also! You must be thinking what I ‘m trying to say! Ok, lemme make it clear!
SPA(R)K i.e. the full form of we 4 friends, Sreetama, Pallabi, Angana & Khushbu who is more commonly known as Rakhi among us, so, R for Rakhi. SPARK has been friends for the last 2 years. We have become a full fledged group & have some rules & regulations of our own. Among that one of the rules is that 2 of us will give the other 2 a grand birthday treat. Angana’s birthday is on 21st May & mine is on 24th July. While Khushbu’s & Pallabi’s birthdays fall on 18th August & 17th October respectively. So me & Angu give Pallu & Khushbu treat & vice versa. Today was the D day for me & Angu. For the last 2 years, we give treat in Hatari restaurant in Triangular Park. We love that place! Thai Fish is our favourite dish over there & we love to have it with Shahi Pouao. Thanks to Pallu who had introduced us to these 2 delicacies & specialties of Hatari. Whenever we go there, Thai fish is a must! Thai fish is a preparation made from fish. Though I dunno the recipe, but when it is served, it looks like this: Small pieces of fish, dry, golden brown in colour, crispy & garnished with spring onions. It is very spicy & has a little tangy flavour. Sometimes it gets little hot due to the higher proportion of spices. That’s why we team it up with Shahi Pulao which is rather sweet owing to the presence of pine apple, raisins, carrots, peas, paneer etc. Thus, these sweet & spicy dishes provide us awesome tang to our mouth! It went just fine last year where we had also ordered a chicken dish.
This year, we decided to have just Shahi Pulao & Thai fish & nothing else. When we reached there, it was almost 3 & needless to say, we were more than hungry!!! Due to the excitement we didn’t even have our break fasts properly & went to college, attended 3 classes & rushed to Hatari! We ordered Chicken Lollypop as starters! It tasted awesome! It was served with onion pickle which I had never tasted before & needless to say, we had a gala time having them! It was very irrational on their part to serve 6 lollypops & we were 4! :P We had 1 full & ½ lollypops!!! Never mind! Dosti me aisa chalta hai!!! After that, we waited for a couple of minutes & our wait was at last finished! Aaahhhhhh!!! We were served with our much awaited & cherished dishes of Shahi Pulao & Thai Fish! Tada! Sang our hearts!!! We almost broke on them! Since we had ordered 2 plates each, we had enough fish to have for ourselves! While I helped myself by taking some pieces of fish, Angu said to me, “Eto chhoto piece nichhish keno, boro boro ne!” I replied, “Are nebo, tui age bhalo kore ne to! Prochur achhe, pore roshiye roshiye khabo!” But then also we didn’t know what was in store for us!!!
We sang Bingo & took a spoon full of pulao along with a piece of fish. Ummmmmm!!! Heaven, thought me! Had another piece of fish & Ahhh it’s so hot!!! Not only me, everyone felt that. We sipped water & splurged again. Nah, it wasn’t any better, a whole glass of water was finished in a millisecond! Among us, Khushbu & Angana just can’t tolerate the hot flavour. Poor they but I & Pallu weren’t in a better position! The pulao was still quite warm & we could feel our tongues burning! Khushbu complained of giddiness due to the over spicy taste. I could feel some fluid rolling down from my eyes to my cheeks! Uhhh! Tears came out from not only mine but every ones’ eyes. We gulped gallons of water but that helped little, rather it was adding our woes! Dunno what the waiters were doing, every time we had to shout & cry out for water. Khushbu now complained of a burning sensation but we all felt that on our lips, tongues, throat & it gradually moved down! But despite of the terrible condition, we were giggling & laughing! We were making funny remarks & actions & laughing to ourselves only!
I could see few heads turning at us to see what’s making the 4 young ladies laugh out loud! But we always give a damn to people! We kept on….
Angana had all the sweet fruits before & now had only Thai fish & rice left to have. She looked petrified! Pallabi acted in a rather normal way. She finished her share of Pulao & took some more & finished that too. Khushbu, remarked so many things but had her pulao & left only with fish. She also looked terrified as if we were served bhat, daal & neem pata, (comparison courtesy Angana). My condition was rather funny! I picked up a spoon full, looked at it for sometime, thinking of to have it or not & at last I prayed Joy Ma Jhaleshwari & had it! It tasted as terrible as before but we couldn’t afford to waste it. Pallabi had a brilliant idea of having them with tomato sauce. It sounded weired before but it really worked! The severe hot taste mellowed down. We considered ourselves as if given a task of MTV Roadies! We cheered up each other & tried to have it. Though we became a little stable but not normal! Pallabi suddenly became chivalrous & said "Ei dekh, ebhabe khete hoy!" & put a big piece into her mouth & then u should’ve seen her face! She was on the verge of crying & she was laughing at the same time. Man, what a day it was! Angana & Khushbu took a vow not to have that demon in disguise again! They hated it like anything! But there was no such thing with me & Pallu. Though we tried hard but couldn’t have it all. Few pieces were still left but nothing doing! We just paid the bill & came out to find ourselves drenched in sweat. A hot & humid day outside & equally hot feeling inside! After that we had Feast & felt a little comfortable. Whew! I’ll never forget this day! But no matter, we enjoyed the day like anything! Bingo!!!

Oh Human Beings!!!

2007-07-07T03:16:00.000-07:00

Huuh! It's true! Human beings can never be satisfied. It's monsoon. It has been raining constantly for the last six days. The rhythm is not constant though! Sometimes its drizzle, sometimes its raining cats & dogs, sometimes its just not following any pattern. Kolkata got drenched & now she's underwater! Kolkata has become venice now! Haha!!! It seems the banks will provide boat loans instead of car loans! This is the present condition...
Few days back it was very very hot. With scorching sun & heavy humid evenings & nights, people got drenchd. but in sweat, not rain! I remember howmuch everyone craved for rain! Everyone waited for rain! But look at the condition now! When rain is here, it has come, drenhed & drowned us, people are waiting for it to go & are ready to welcome the scorching sun once again!
Some more days back, it was winter. Winter in Kolkata is unmentionable! Can dino ka mehman hai! We wait for winter to do justice to our woollens, Ma takes out old & discarded synthetic saris to make balaposh. Winter means whole lotta fun for us! Winter means mowa, notun gur, pithe puli! Winter means Christmas, fest, cakes! At the onset of winter, we say "uff sheet to porloi na ebar! Kolkatar sheet to!" Global warming! But when it starts getting cold we behave in a way as if we are in the north or south poles! Then, we wait for summers! Then atleast we don't have to shiver like this! Look forward to summer....The cycle moves on!!! Indeed, earth is round!
Yes, we are never satisfied with our present situation. We get happy when we get what we want but get bored soon! We want change. Either we are no satisfied at all or we get satisfied too easily! This is what makes human beings or homo sapiens stand apart from the rest of the species! They think, they want change & they bring changes without which our lives can never move on!

Why Women Cry?

2007-07-06T00:48:00.000-07:00

One day, a young boy asked his mom."Why are you crying?""Because I'm a woman" she told him. "I don't understand ," he said.His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will, but that's okay." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mom seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason" was all his dad could say.The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry finally, he put in a call to God. When God got back to him, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?'' God answered, "When I made women, I decided she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet her arms gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come, even from her own children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue, without complaining. I gave her sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances even when her child has hurt her badly. She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears. I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults, and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife but some times tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. For all of this hard work, I also gave her a tear to shed, It is her's to use whenever needed and is her only weakness." "When you see her cry, tell her how much u love her and all she does for everyone. And even though she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good." " She is special!"

I went spell bound after I read this. Isn't this wonderful? Even I find my Ma crying so many times & I thought she was having her "dukkhobilash"! But Ma, I love u. I can't thank you coz only thanx won't do & I'll never be able to pay back whatever u've done for me. I know u don't want them back.But still, Thanx a lot for all the things u have done for me & being my pillar of strenth, always. I love u, that's what I can say. I'm sorry for all the things which have hurt u. I'll try not to hurt u anymore. Just remember that I'm there! I'm proud that u r my Ma, only mine!!!

2007-07-06T00:28:00.000-07:00

I have been Tagged! So now I'm supposed to write 8 lines about myself! How do I go about that? What will I do with 8 lines??? What not to write coz 8 lnes are not enough to write about oneself I guess! Anyway, lets start & see how things look like!

1. I'm very shy & take time to open up.

2. I'm introvert, even when I have so many things to say, I can't.

3. I lack confidence. When I'm asked to perform anything or when it comes to answering some question in class or anywhere, I don't even if I know coz I'm too shy & feel what if I'm wrong?

4. I'm a very lazy person, why should I do something much before when I know that I have more time! Alas, I tend to forget the phrase Tomorrow never comes!!! Thats why I've got so many things to do but....whats the hurry? I'll finish them, don't worry! A perfect procastrinate.

Well, I wrote 4 bad things about me. Now its time for 4 good things! Yippie! I'm loving it now!!!

5. I'm a sweet person! Hey, I'm not telling this JLT! Wherever I go, people(alas, elderly people like uncles, aunties, dadus & didas, not hot chic handsome guys!) say, "Bah! bhari mishti meye to!"

6. I've a wacky sense of humour. I can make people laugh till they cry!

7. I'm mastering the art of "baje boka/bhat boka"! When I'm with my close friends, I talk gibberish! They get mad but they love me for this! My imagination has no bounds!

8. Last but not the least, I'm a good & humble person! See, I've got so many good qualities but still, I wasted four lines bringing out my negative points instead of bragging or flaunting about them!

Huh! Atlast I'm done with this! But I must tell you, I could have continued with this but never mind! Am neither an angel, nor a devil. I'm a normal human being. Someone veryy veryy ordinary!

My Silent Tears

2007-07-03T11:41:00.000-07:00

They say, never shed your tears. They are too costly. Don't cry for someone who has hurt you as someone who really cares for you won't make you cry. Then why are tears present? What's their significance? If I don't cry when I'm hurt then when will I cry? You can only get hurt by them who you think really cares for you. They do, but they are human beings, not angels that they will never ever hurt you! It sounds very romantic when someone dear says "I will never hurt you, never make you cry." But I don't believe it. Human beings do commit mistakes, you feel bad & you cry. You feel better after you cry. I am a cry baby. I cry at the drop of a hat. My present situation has complelled me to cry out loud...but I can't. I'm shedding my tears silently. Its raining outside & so is my heart! Why am I crying? I got hurt. I know, he didn't mean to hurt me but still I'm crying. I wish he's feeling the same & crying for me too! But nah, I don't want that! Tomorrow or after few days when I will see this, may be I'll laugh. It may seem stupid but for me, what I'm feeling now is the most important thing. Whenever you feel like crying, do cry. It won't cause you any harm. I know, I keep on telling people don't cry & repeat those words. but now, I'm telling you, do cry if you feel like crying! My dear ones, I don't promise you that I'll never make you cry. Don't accuse me later, ok?
I know this whole thing is verry stupid but I really can't help it. This is my blog & I just needed to rain my feelings! I'll always do that, rain my feelings. I'm the rain girl you see!